Almost Done

You tore me apart, you ripped me in two. You stomped on my heart and didn't give a shit. You let me go just far enough to yank me back in ... you killed my spirit, my happiness... my life.

You ate away at my entire being and cared not what you did. You kept me from those who love me and forced me to see that you didn't... you took everything I had and never appreciated it. You ate it all up and cared not one bit.

You took for granted my weaknesses, used them against me. You took up my time and changed who I am... you knew I was weak and you preyed upon me and you cared not at all what you did.

I look back now and try to figure out how I could let this happen, I look back and scream when I remember the pain... I can't keep myself from this, this anger this pain... I can't stop the hurt you buried inside of me. I am terrified to let go, what will happen then? I am scared to just live and be at peace with who I am... what if I don't like me... what if I have changed too much?

I look at your pictures your profiles and emails, I try to avoid them but there is no way to escape. In this world we live in there are so many connecting threads between you and I how will I escape what will I do.

I have to move forward and focus on me, what is best for Amanda and who she can be... I have to understand there is nothing I can control except the things I can and those are where my efforts must stand.

I'm not sorry for hurting you or whatever I have done. I am not sorry for scaring you into realizing what you've become... as a matter of fact YOU'RE WELCOME because I know one day you will wish you had thanked me... You were an ass, you were a jerk, you were controlling and hurtful, you never loved me not the real me and you hurt me and used and abused me... and you're welcome for introducing you to the leach of a human you are... you will one day thank me for coming this far.

I am not sorry that I take this all back, I am not sorry that I focus on myself, I am not sorry for the leaps and bounds I have made since the past has past... Good bye-farewell... i hope to never see your sorry face again, and if you do appear in my life you better walk away quickly...

Soon enough the letter will arrive declaring my freedom and when it does I will be ME again I will take it everywhere and scream from rooftops... Free at last free at last thank god almighty I am free at last... and you will be gone... erased from my mind, from my memories from time... You will be gone for good.

Toodle-loo
Angel