One Moment

It is amazing how just one moment can mean something to one person and something else entirely to another.

I am not sure how to handle this mother's day. As a holiday goes, it is one of my least favorites. I find it appalling that we need to have ONE day to make best for mom, when every day it should be that way. Besides that, I don't feel I ever had the mom I should have and needed to have in my life.

I feel like an ass complaining, really. There are worse out there, but other experiences are not my experiences. What I can do is work through the memories, the moments I have that were heart wrenching and hard.

The photo you posted today... was really just the cherry on top for me. I was having a really hard weekend that weekend. I remember you being a jerk about one or eleven things and not being very happy when we left. I remember feeling very frustrated by you, like most of my memories. That picture just reminded me of it. Any progress I was making toward wanting to talk to you has subsided.

I really would rather not talk to you anymore.

At all.
Happy Mother's day.

Enjoy your moments, enjoy the memories you think were so special and perfect. You don't remember them the same way I do. SURE our memories are exaggerated by our own schema and experience but my feelings are real to me. Even though you refuse to acknowledge them. I remember... I will always remember. Until you make the move to change, I won't do anything to bring you back into my life. I don't miss you. I just fear you, and that's not healthy.

Like I said. I would really rather never talk to you again.

Ciao.