Where's the anger from?...

I discovered today that I am angry. Anger is not a bad thing like I once thought it was… it is funny cause with the discovery of being angry I realized I am angry with my mom and my brother. Not with them right now but with them and the past. For example, I am angry with my mom for putting so much emotional stress on me when I was just a young teenager. For telling me everything that was going on in her divorce with my dad while it was unfolding in front of my eyes. For not controlling her drinking during the divorce and for jumping so quickly to moving and then being with Clint. It was like dad was barely gone and Clint was in the picture. And sure, he was just her friend and they didn’t sleep together or anything, but we all know what he was a replacement for. When Clint was just barely faded John was in the picture. I am angry with her not taking care of herself emotionally and spiritually the way she says she has. I am angry that she lectures me about taking better care of myself when she doesn’t take as good of care of herself as she should. I am angry with the idea that anger has to be a bad thing. When did it get this bad “rap”? I think anger is healthy. It is important. I am angry with my brother for leaving me to carry it all. I carried it all and I am angry about it. I am angry with my brother for wasting his life, he has a perfectly good one and he wasted half of it… I am not angry at him now, this doesn’t mean I have to hate him or be mad at him, but the anger is there and I have to work through it. I have to process it before I can be happy from my toes to my eyes.