Right now...

Right now, I am more me than I have been in a all of my adult years.
Right now... I am happy to be free from the chains that bound my wrists and ankles.
Right now I am just happy to be me

but

Right now I am pissed cause you joined fucking Match.com
Right now I feel guilt that I didn't see this all coming... I had everything already there in front of me screaming, begging me to just end it... why didn't I?
Right now I gag when I hear the word soul mate what a crock...
Right now I hate the idea of you blaming this shit on your work... on you thinking this is about me and not you... I hate that you think we have a future--WE DON'T

but

Right now I feel butterflies each time I think of the future
Right now I am unsure of SO MUCH more than I want to be at this point
Right now... I tremble when I think of my future... will it be alone??

Right now my loneliness is more apparent than it ever has been
Right now, the bed feels more empty, the silence is so much quieter, the laundry just doesn't stack up fast enough
Right now... I feel lost and alone and confused and scared

but

Right now... I feel strong and motivated and secure and knowing and IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE... and that is new... and scary, but good and right.
Right now, I know I am doing the right thing for me, the right thing for you even--you self centered greedy asshole with absolutely no respect for me--this might make your life better!
Right now... I smile at the thought of knowing I am free... Free to fly once more.